Who is this Person?

There was a strange man in our house last week. He has visited us before. On good days he causes no trouble as Henry Jekyll. But in bad times he reappears as Edward Hyde. In 1886 Robert Louis Stevenson published "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde." It turns out that we can each relate to the struggle of good and evil personified all in one body! Even if we are not suffering from multiple personality disorder or bi-polar, there are times when the mood swings seem pretty extreme.

One night last week I had a "Mr. Hyde moment." It seems I was done being nice. It had been a long day and a busy evening - but that's no excuse. Mr. Hyde emerged through a lack of communication, misunderstandings, and a vague sense of not being adequately appreciated for my enormous contributions.

• I became argumentative

• I began "keeping score"

• I failed to listen to my wife's heart and attend to her needs

Thankfully Dr. Jekyll soon re-appeared, but we were left with the question: "Which one is the real me?" Of course I'd like to say that "Mr. Hyde moments" are very much the exception. The problem is, he says things that Dr. Jekyll is too nice to say. And my wife believes him! She thinks that Dr. Jekyll is holding back, while Mr. Hyde is revealing his "true colors."

We may be tempted to ask, "Where did that come from?" or even "Who is this person?"

There are many reasons for our words and behavior to fluctuate from "kind and compassionate" to "mean and nasty:"

• I felt misunderstood, misrepresented and mistreated.

• I didn't get what I felt I deserved

• My motives were good, but someone still got hurt

We can often find the capacity in ourselves to treat others well, as long as they are good to us. As long as we feel that we are esteemed and respected, we can give respect and esteem to others.

Let's face it. But for the grace of God, we might all be desperate criminals. It's grace that allows us to be considerate and show kindness, and grace that covers for others when they show us their "dark side." When we do slip up, and forget to extend esteem and respect, it's a reminder that we are dependent on grace to survive.

Yes, that's the same person you married! Warts and all. You could expect them to mature a little and not keep making the same mistakes. But don't hold your breath. In the meantime, you can work on becoming that grace-filled person that would be so much easier to live with. Blessings and grace to you!